Happiness

Happiness…..

I recently read a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I loved this book! What called me to it was the idea that she was trying to add something to her life, to be more present in the life she was living, and to find more contentment and happiness in everyday life. Of course, as you can imagine, I was a bit weary of her ideology…would she really do that…add things?...or would she up and leave her life for a new and exciting one ? Think Eat, Pray, Love. I love the idea of thinking about life, how to enhance it, and be fully present in it, but seriously! I am BUSY!! So are you!!!! How would we, could we, possibly add MORE to it and survive???? To be clear, I didn’t buy this book because I am unhappy….far from it…but I, too, realize that I could be more present in my life, less scattered, less grouchy (yes, at times!) and more productive so that I could enjoy the things that really matter to me the most.

Gretchen Rubin researched happiness….a lot! She read everything she could get her hands on about it. In the book, she refers to her research quite often, and that is one of the things I loved about it. She was very methodical in how she approached this “Project” and basically what she did was to focus on what would bring about happiness, and how she could be herself while experiencing more happiness. Each month she added in a new resolution which she charted daily to be sure she was actually doing it. She set out her plan, and day by day went about achieving it. The book made me think and question a lot about my life. I actually wrote down about forty questions it brought up for me, and every now and then I’m going to tackle them here. The resolutions she tackled are: Boost Energy, Remember Love, Aim Higher, Lighten Up, Be Serious About Play, Make Time for Friends, Buy Some Happiness, Contemplate the Heavens, Pursue a Passion, Pay Attention, Keep a Contented Heart, and Boot Camp Perfect (get the book to see what that means!).

For me, even more intriguing than her resolutions were the TWELVE COMMANDMENTS she came up with for herself. As she thought about happiness, and what she needed to have it, she decided to sort out the principles that were important to her and throughout the book she refers to them often. They are: (Remember, these are hers, not mine..)
1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation
12. There is only love.

I’ve started thinking about what mine are, and I’m not sure! I like a lot of the ones she made, especially number one, although I think that number one might be the hardest of all. To accept yourself, faults and all, for who you are and to be okay with that. I’m okay with lots of parts of my life…but as a whole? I think so, but it is something to think about!

This year I have started listening to the Daily Audio Bible. I am really enjoying it! I, like millions of others, sort of made resolutions for this year…you know, eat healthier, exercise more…etc. BUT, I think this is the resolution I will be able to keep that will be the most precious to me. I’m really enjoying it, and have been able to fit it into my days. I think it is already bringing more happiness to my life! So, as the year progresses, I am going to think about happiness. I'm going to think about the questions I have floating around in my mind, and for now ask you this: What are the “Rules” you live by?

Three little words.....HUGE impacts

Three little words….

Our language is so complicated! Yes, we have phonics rules for everything, but there are exceptions to pretty much each of these rules. Yet, with just a few words one can relay such depth of meaning that it is sometimes staggering to realize the impact our words can have on another human being.

For instance, How are you? These words seem simple enough, but the person answering must decide how much to share. Does the recipient want the cursory “Fine, and you?” or do they really want the nitty- gritty details of how you really are? (They usually want the Fine, and you….in case you are wondering!)

What about the words: I am afraid. These words, though simple, can have a person make decisions that they are not really comfortable with, but do anyways. For instance, I got the flu shot this year. I didn’t want to, but I started thinking about what I would do if I got the flu. How would I take care of myself, and my kids? So, the fear set in, and off I went. Fear can also stop a person from enjoying new experiences, relationships, and opportunities. For such a small word, fear carries a huge meaning!

The words I’m not happy can bring about a host of change. Enough said!

I trust you is an easy thing to say, but a difficult thing to do (sometimes). It surprises me how much those words can impact a person. I will be honest and say that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to trust someone again, and yet, as time has passed, I have learned that I can and do.

I love you. These words bring about so many feelings. Surprise, happiness, hope, and love returned are just a few things I have felt when those words were spoken to me. Sometimes the unexpected joys in life are the ones that take you by surprise. Yes, I thought I’d love again. I hoped I would! I didn’t know if I’d be able to trust it. I have found that I can and do. (Yes, if you are wondering, those words have been spoken to me recently!)

How about Tahiti? No, I am not going to Tahiti! But, upon discussion of my upcoming birthday, those three words were jokingly thrown out there. They made me laugh out loud! To think that someone would even think of something like that made me smile.

So now to update you, since I haven’t written in FOREVER!!! If you recall, a long time ago I wrote that I had heard life was made up of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. I thought it was a neat sentiment (until I started in with the sorrows!). I know that life is full of ups and downs, and will always be full of unexpected surprises, both good and bad. I am happy to tell you that I am enjoying some of the joys now and much of the sorrow has ceased. I still struggle with day to day things, like we ALL do, but there is now a measure of joy that has been missing from my life for a very long time. I am happy and blessed to have met someone special. Who knew being set up by a friend would be so much fun!?

Spring has Sprung!

The weather has been absolutely beautiful around here lately! I love it! I have planted a bunch of flowers, gotten lots of fresh air, and enjoyed a weekend of company over Easter Weekend. My kids are in Montana right now, freezing! They have both enjoyed ski school, and I am glad the trip is going well. I miss them, but have been very busy doing lots of fun things around here this week.

I have a few more weeks of this class I am taking, then a couple of weeks off, and on to the summer's classes! I am really making headway in the program, and that feels really good.

I had the neatest experience the day before Spring break with some of my students. A few of them (five) and I were walking through the campus, and they said that they thought it would be fun if just the five of them were my students. They said, "We would READ a ton, and WRITE a ton!" Then they said that we wouldn't take a summer break, okay, maybe a week (WHAT!!!???) but we would have so much to do that we wouldn't want to be apart much longer than that. They said, "Can you imagine how much we would research?" That has brought a smile to my face all week.

I enjoy teaching very much. I'm glad I am working towards furthuring this career. Even when the going gets rough, I try to remember times like that I share with my "kids."

Lots of fun things have occurred this week, and I am making the best of being without my kids. I miss them. BUT, I have done a lot to make things more smooth when they get home! Plus, I read a GREAT book written by a friend of mine.

Life is good.

I'm back!!!

Well, quite a bit of time has passed since my last post.

Blogging is interesting…it has helped me process through so many things, and I have enjoyed writing about the most personal things. Sometimes I feel to just write something, anything, seems frivolous. And, then other times that is all I want to write about. I struggle with how to keep “it real” without being too serious!

Dating. Hm.... This has to be one of the most difficult things to do after so many years of not doing it!!! I can’t go into it in any detail, since this blog is available to anyone who cares to find it, and I might say something that could be misconstrued or misunderstood.

School is going well…but WOW has it been a busy semester. I am close to completing a class, and then one more large project for another class, then I get a whole two weeks off!! I have figured out the game plan for the rest of my studies, and will knock out two more classes this summer. My kids are over it. REALLY OVER IT!!!! Seeing mom glued to the computer is not much fun. I feel their pain! Haha

Speaking of the kids, they are doing great. School is going well, they have tremendous teachers (who don’t know about this blog so I am not kissing up!), and soccer is fun and challenging. Grant is still playing the piano and he plays often now that I have bought a real piano for our home. I love to listen to him play. They both enjoy reading, too, and they continue to get along for the most part! Yeah!

This isn’t long, but I wanted to say Hi to any readers, and let you know that I am still here… I will try to write more often. I really took a break, but I had good reasons. Trust me.

The Characters in our Lives....

“People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.” ~~The Rescue

Have you ever read a book that affected you so much that when you finished it you were sad? I have done that. Some books also affect me so that I can’t stop thinking about them for days, or even weeks. I love books, and have an extensive library of them. I have books in several different genres, whether they are children’s books, historical fiction, biographies, teaching books, religious, religious fiction, cook books, quilting books, self-help, study guides and art books. There are some books in my collection that I couldn’t possibly tell you the details of, but I could definitely tell you how I felt while reading it. I have some that I look at and I can tell you what was going on in my life during the time I read it. Others I pick up and have to ask myself whether or not I ever got to it. I do have many books that need my attention! So little time….

In my last blog, I mentioned that I have started dating. Dating is completely different from when I last did it!!! Now, you email one another, and have conversations about all sorts of topics, before you even share a phone number. Then, once you are finally ready to do that, you share and may even later actually go out. You have already filled this person in on so much of your life and you have learned a lot about them, too. Plus, with today’s age, they have already checked you out on the internet…to see if you are crazy or not! Haha We all have to be careful, especially with kids.

The quote above made me think about my current situation, and the possibilities that lie ahead. I am excited about my future. I am excited to get to know the new “characters” (or character?) and to add them to the book that is my life. I have closed the other book I was engrossed in, and have set it on a shelf. It will always be in my library, and I can tell you how I felt when I was involved in it, but I can also tell you that I am okay with it being put away. The new book I am “reading” is quite interesting.

Lots of firsts

One down, several more to go! I just turned in my first assignment for my new class this semester…a five page paper on the importance of play. Remember when you were a kid and you spent the day lost in your own world? I used to create a home on the deck, with my sister and a ton of blankets. I loved doing that. And, with bunk beds in our room, we could make apartments. I loved putting a lamp in my little space, and it is a wonder we didn’t catch something on fire! Play…practicing for grown up life….being silly and creative….and dreaming of a future.

I don’t play like that anymore. Well, maybe I do! I rearrange my furniture, pictures, things and I imagine a future ahead. I daydream of places I’d like to visit, and if someone would play along, we could pretend! Of course, that would be unconventional, and when is there time for such silliness…yet…..

My girl is home from her ski trip to Utah. She had a good time, especially on the second day. I am happy for her. She experienced something special being in the mountains and the cold air, exercising and enjoying the exhilaration of skiing down the mountain. Actually, snowboarding. I always call it skiing and she gets after me! She was supposed to go to her Dad’s tonight after picking up her brother (he opted out for a weekend with mom), but I got a text this morning asking if she could just come home and stay here with her brother. Okay!!! We missed her, too.

I taught my little tycoon how to play Monopoly. I won the first game, and then the second game by $1 (seriously) and then lost by about $6,000 the next game. My record is not improving!!! His definitely is. He loves it, as I knew he would.

In my new class I am going to have to blog about teaching. I don’t know yet where that will be posted, but I may post some here, too. I really do enjoy writing.

Oh, and I went on my first date this weekend. That first is done. It went okay, sorta, but he is not the one for me and my kids.

Kiddos

I really miss my kids today. They called me on the phone and we chatted a bit, and I love to hear their voices. Tonight I am realizing how hard the next chapter of our lives is going to be. I wish that fairy tales came true. What would you wish for if they did?